Carrying a baby for nine months was not difficult for me...was blessed with healthy pregnancies. Giving birth was relatively painless...thanks to modern medicine and epidurals. Even the long nights of interrupted sleep was temporary. Dealing with broken bones, stitches, stomach viruses, sibling rivalries, and responsibility for five children can be exhausting. Living with and raising four teenagers is quite trying at times...okay...almost every day; but, nothing...nothing has been as difficult as the mother-place I find myself in now.
The hardest thing as a mother is learning how, when, and to what degree to let go...release my children, one-by-one, to make their own choices, discover who they are, and grow outside my protective presence. Proverbs 22:6 provides me comfort and confidence. I have dedicated our children to the Lord...I have trained them up in and with the Truth through words and action...I have shown them the narrow path -- how to recognize it and follow it. Now I have to "put my faith where my mouth is."
As our second child prepares to graduate from high school in three weeks, I am reminded of this Scripture when I start to mentally and emotionally hyperventilate. "...and when he is old he will not turn from it." I just have to rest in the assurance that all of our kids know Jesus Christ as their Savior. Whatever choices they make, I must pray that they will be drawn closer to Him. I must love my children unconditionally as Christ loves me. I must trust God to protect them when I cannot. I must have confidence that no matter what choices they will make, even those poor choices, that God's conviction and grace will abound (just as it does for me).
I pray that our children will desire God more than they desire any person or position.
I pray that our children will serve God before they serve man or themselves.
I pray that our children will seek and do God's will - His absolute best for them - before they seek and do my will or any other man's will.
I pray that our children will crave the Word of God more than they crave the words of others.
I pray that our children will hold to the teachings and foundation that they have received and not depart from it for very long or very far or at all.
I pray that our children will learn from our mistakes and embrace our successes to make them better parents than we have been.
At the end of the day, I can rejoice in the fact that God has carried us "Thus far..." We are blessed with kids who love the Lord beyond their layers of hormones, testosterone, arguments, and just plain "teenager-ness."... and for that I am grateful.
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